Saturday, December 29, 2007


It's almost 2008. This last week has been very tiring but fulfilling. I was able to see most everyone I love at some point during the week. That is the most important thing to me. And I love watching anyone I give a gift, open it. I would rather watch them open it than receive one. I did receive some nice things, but won't list them since everyone else got nice things too, and I'm sure you would forget it in an instant anyway. I will say that I must have been a good girl this year, since I received an exceptional bonus from the boss.

I'm looking forward to a couple of days of quiet and inactivity. I have to work New Year's eve, but that's ok, cuz it's payday. They are always good days. ;0) It's also a co-workers birthday so we will celebrate a little more.

I hope and pray that the coming year holds showers of blessing for each of you.
Happy New Year dear friends and family. I love you all.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Holiday Message

The time is upon us, so I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! I hope and pray the celebration will be bright and the coming year blessed for all of you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Count Them One By One

Well, he's laughing. The old debil. He loves to make people unhappy and frustrated. I failed to read my bible this a.m. and only prayed for a couple of minutes before work. I can tell. The clinic has been very hectic and frustrating today. I am guilty of thinking really ugly things and saying not so nice things.

This Christmas is turning out to be different from any one I can remember. Family members so scattered we can't get together like we want, disappointment in the family life department and all the frustration of trying to "get ready" for a nice Christmas Day. Fatigue is playing a big role in emotional health as well.

I long for the "good ole days" when I was a child and things were so much simpler. But, I have to remind myself how good I really have it. So, here's how good I really have it.....

Goes without saying (but I will) that I am saved by grace and thankful for my God's love and mercy. I have God's word to read whenever I want and it's not against the law.

I am healthy. I have all my five senses. (LeLe believes I have a bit of a sixth sense, ;)

I have a job that I can tolerate fairly well. There are times of fun and laughter to temper the frustration.

My husband is a good man and loves me and the Lord. He is a good provider and takes good care of me.

My children are good Christians, loving, law abiding and healthy.

My mother is in good health, and is appreciative of all things her children do for her. My Dad was a good Christian example up until the day he died. They were married to each other until he passed.

All my siblings are alive and well and love me.

I have an awesome church family.

I have a computer to reach out to the world and bring it into my home. (Hmm, that could be a negative, but I choose to make it a positive)

I have a nice home, a nice car, food on the table and clothes on my back. I have lots of "stuff" that isn't necessary but makes life nice.

There are so many things good about my life that I need to "count my blessings" daily. So, I'm reminding myself in this post to do just that. And maybe, just maybe the remainder of the day will be a little easier.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dr. B and Nurse T

Our nurse practitioner is out today and so we've been playing doctor. Not in the way that sounds, but I have had pain in my leg for the last three days. The nurse and I have researched my symptoms in medical books and online. We have come to the conclusion that I have Sciatica. Sounds impressive doesn't it? Well, all it means is that I have pain running down my Sciatic nerve. There are several ways of treating it, and I just want the pain gone, since it wakes me up when I am actually able to sleep. I have two different kinds of pain medicine at home, but one doesn't work completely and the other is almost gone. And it's possible the pain will lessen with the clearing of the weather. The book says weather can play a role.

I have had back pain for years. I even had an epidural one time for it. Not the kind that you get when you are having a baby, but where they inject medication into the pain's point of origin. That is an experience I won't repeat unless I have no choice. The procdure was worse than dealing with the pain. The result was pretty good for a while, but the pain did eventually come back.

It's rather disappointing to not be able to shop for more than an hour or so before you back hurts so bad you have to give up and go home. At Christmas, when you want to get a lot of shopping done at once, that makes it almost impossible. Just walking around in Hunter's Refuge yesterday and Penney's sent me running for home. I know age plays a role, but come on.... lots of women older than me shop-til-they-drop. I sure wish I could sometimes. The only good thing, is that LeLe is not much of a shopper either, so we are both ready to go pretty early when we shop together. :)

I do have all but two gifts purchased and I will remedy that soon. Then I can enjoy the parties and church musicals, etc. without thinking of what I need to be doing.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

*Another Frazzled Female

As LeLe occasionally does, I want to share a devotional reading with readers. This one hit me directly in the center of my heart and I believe it is appropriate for those of us who are so busy, we are overwhelmed.
It's written by Cindi Wood and is published in the December issue of Journey: A Woman's Guide to Intimacy With God.

The Core of the Problem
God has a beautiful invitation to all who find themselves caught up in the lifestyle of too many things to do with not enough time to do them. If you are anxious, pressured, and depleted by the demands placed on your life right now, God has something better in mind for you. Too little time is not actually the problem. The core of the problem may be having too much to do!

If you offer your heart, mind, and emotions to your Heavenly Father, He will direct you about all the things He wants you to be involved in during your daily schedule.

For me, the revelation about what should occupy my days comes in my quiet alone time. Part of what I do during that time with Him is go over my plans for the day, praying over each item and asking His take on what fills my day. He, more than once, has impressed me to strike something off my list.

I've learned not to assume that just because something is good, God wants me to be doing it at this particular time in my life. When I seek God's counsel and ask Him to be in control of my to-do list, He truly impresses on me what should be on it in the first place. Sometimes I'm impressed to strike off "little things." There have been other times when He has called me specifically to drop out of an activity for a while so that I may have more time to be with my family and grow our relationships.

I believe God wants us to learn to enjoy His fellowship at a more relaxed pace. For some reason we busy women equate being busy for God as being productive for Him. But you know, He is showing me that I'm more productive when I'm less busy and more relaxed.

It's my prayer that you will begin to check areas in your life where you might be overcommitted. Take some time with the Lord, seeking His direction. And remember, making sure you are less busy will help you have more time for sitting at His feet, and that's to your advantage!

end of article

There is a link at the bottom which is: I haven't checked it out yet, but I plan to. As I have been gnashing and wailing about all I have to do this month, I was glad to read this. There may be something I can drop out of, (after checking with God first) and if so, it will be a relief. I find it hard to enjoy the Christmas season when I have so much to do that requires lots of preparation and I be away from home. I hope you younger women will be able to find a happy medium in all you must do to take care of your families and be involved in church activities. Merry Christmas!

(Mrs. Louisa Gabrielle, I hope you are well.)
** 3/17/2009 I changed the title of this post, because I saw that others were doing a google search on the original title and finding my blog. I don't believe that was their intention, and decided to change it because that title actually belongs to a dot com site.


Those of you who know me best, know that I am REALLY into all things medieval and celtic. I frequently window shop online for celtic jewelry and decorative items. I think I may have been born in the wrong time, but of course, God makes no mistakes. LeLe brought me a catalog the other day called: Gaelsong.I ooohd and aaaaahd over every page and if money was no object, probably would have started making purchases as soon as I could get to my computer. My dream is to some day, actually make it over to Scotland and maybe Ireland, since they are where my ancestors originated as far as I can tell.

Last night I was given the opportunity to enjoy a dinner called "Madrigal Feast", given by my neice's high school choir. (My sister's child) It's a yearly event and I loved it. All the choir members dress in medieval clothing and it's held in an Episcopal church that looks as if it was airlifted from the 5th century and set down in the middle of Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The setting was awesome and many of the younger choir members served us in the appropriate serving attire. Our wench was very sweet and helpful. ;) By candlelight, we were served a good meal of prime rib, green beans, new potatoes and flaming plumb pudding. The best part however, was the music. Harpsicord, flute, guitar and trumpet were the only instruments but they sounded unbelievable. The choir's performance was outstanding and unique. They not only stood at the front of the room singing, but also moved around the room several times for several numbers. My neice has been gifted beyong measure with her vocal talent. I believe it is due to the Lord of course, but she inherited the gift from both sides of her family. I'm told by those who knew her, that my paternal grandmother was quite the singer. And Neice's paternal grandmother was a gifted singer in her day as well.

This is Neice's last performance at Madrigals before graduating and her mom was in tears much of the time. They are a very close family and it' so good to see. I am very glad I went, eventhough I'm not a night owl and it usually causes me to have a restless night when I eat so late. But God blessed me and I was able to finally go to sleep when I got home and have a restful night.

Thanks Neice, for your hard work and for sharing your gift with all of us. We love hearing you sing and we love you more than you could imagine.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Que the Music....

Christmastime is here..... Happiness and cheer.... Ahhh It's Christmas Charlie Brown, THE best Christmas special ever recorded in history in my opinion. Unfortunately, SR is a Scrooge and I never watch it anymore. I'm posting the Christmas Opinion Pole that is making the rounds in my blog neighborhood.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both. But there is just something special about having to tear paper off a box and open it.

2. Real tree or artificial? I'd like real, but they are a real mess to deal with, so I've started using prelit artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree? As soon as possible after Thanksgiving. This year it was the day after. I REFUSE to shop the day after Thanksgiving due to the crazy people and the traffic. It's rediculous!

4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the 26th. I like to get things all clean and bright for New Year's.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I don't remember if it was for Christmas exactly, but probably was.... the year my Dad was in Vietnam he sent my sisters and me a beautiful oriental doll that revolved on a round music box. I still have it. One day, maybe I'll have a granddaughter who will want it.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Currently I have two displayed, but I have had as many as 5 at one time. After all, that IS the point isn't it?

8. Hardest person to buy for. My in-laws. If they need it or want it, they buy it. How do you buy for someone like that?

9. Easiest person to buy for?
SR. He is satisfied with anything in the world. A pair of socks and a tee and he's good to go.

10. Worst Christmas? I can't remember a bad one, except maybe the year my dad was in Vietnam or the first Christmas after his passing.

11. Mail or email Holiday cards? I like the real thing. It's too easy and to impersonal to send email cards. Eventhough I have sent certain folks both.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? See first paragraph...

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually about August or September unless I see something perfect. This year I found something for someone back in May.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nah. I have purchased one for a specific person though, and kept it for the next year and given it to someone else.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I love it all. (Too Much)

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I prefer clear.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Breath of Heaven. But it's not Christmas yet, unless you've heard Sleigh Ride.

18. Travel for Christmas or stay at home? Both.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Can't everyone?

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? I've used both. Depends on my mood at the time of decoration shopping.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both. When the kids were little, we'd let them open their gift from us on Christmas Eve, but they had to wait till Christmas morning for Santa's gifts. When they got older, we just went ahead on Christmas Eve to keep me from going out of my mind with "Can we open our gifts?!!!)

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The traffic and the selfishness I've seen from time to time. I mean, if you have to push and shove someone to grab a gift, where is the Christmas spirit?

23. What I love most about Christmas? Celebrating Christ's birth by giving those I love gifts. I absolutely LOVE giving people presents. If I was rich, it would really be a problem.

SR is on vacation, so we drove over to Hot Springs to do a little Christmas shopping yesterday. I was able to find what I was looking for at the Mall, thank goodness but wished I'd had a bit more to spend at the time. He took me to my favorite restaurant, Red Lobster, and we had a great lunch. As soon as we left and made it to the next store, my stomach exploded. I was afraid I had caught some kind of virus. I tried to be a good little shopper and keep going, as SR had a specific place he wanted to shop, and I held out as long as I could. I finally had to tell him we had to go home. I was not happy, and didn't feel well at all the rest of the day, but at least I accomplished a bit before we had to high tail it home.

And I love it when you find what you want without really expecting to. I was in the local Pharmacy/Gift shop this morning and found EXACTLY what I wanted for my sisters. We give each other inexpensive gifts just for fun, and wonder of wonders, while I was waiting for a prescription, I found the perfect things. God is so good. ;)

Friday, November 23, 2007

Grandma Doesn't Like Christmas......Much

Grandma (My mother) has always been Christmas CRAZY. As long as I can remember, she has spent the entire year shopping for presents and decorations. By the time she is done, her place looks like a department store display. And she has more of those larger than life blow up thingys than you can shake a stick at.

Since my Dad passed away three years ago in March, she lost her spirit. Last year she didn't put anything up but a tree. We were all so disappointed. But this year, she is back in full form and when I walked in for Thanksgiving I got a delighted eyeful. Here are some of her displays, but not all, because for some reason, my camera took fuzzy photos without the flash. I wanted to capture the lights and with the flash it took that beauty away. Seems it took the beauty of focus away too. Blah.

This is her mantel. I like it best.

This is her "Blue" collection.
This shelf she framed out herself, in an old doorway after my Dad passed. She taught herself how to use his power tools and began trimming the entire house. What a woman!

Just a little something on a table at the end of the sofa. Everywhere you look there is something.

One more little village for now. This is no where near all her decorations, but they are too numerous to post here.

Today I am trying to get my own home decorated. I lost interest for a while and gave a lot of my stuff away. I wish I hadn't now, but that's ok.... I can buy more!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

History and Heritage

Oh, my daughter has caught the genealogy bug. I'm so proud! For a few years a while back, I lived, breathed, ate and slept genealogy. It faded some after a while, but I still get little jolts frequently. Since LeLe is now interested, my passion has resurfaced and I am anxious to get to it again. I'm really thankful to the Latter Day Saints for compiling so many records that help researchers in their quest.

Some folks don't really understand the drive we gen-bugs have for this. I guess it's a combination of things. I have always been sentimental, I like knowing where I came from, I have always loved history, and it's a puzzle to be solved. The puzzle is really the main thing I think. Where were my gr-gr-great grandparents married? Where did their parents originate? Am I French? English? Scottish???? OH YEAH BABY! Did my ancestors fight in the Jacobite Rebellion of 1745? Or were they driven from Ireland by the potato blight? Did they migrate to France to escape war? It's really fascinating to me.

One of the drawbacks in this type of work, is that you can do so much "legwork" and find out so much, but if you post it online, someone else can use it and never give you credit for it. A lot of people won't share what they have found for that very reason. And a lot of what people put online is just hearsay and speculation. You have to do your own research to prove or disprove their information. Still, it's a great hobby that can quickly become an obsession if you let it.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

American Fast Food, Gotta Love It!

This afternoon I decided I wanted a burrito from Taco Bell. SR and I were driving though White Hall after going into Pine Bluff for a dishwasher part. (Been washing dishes by hand...I'm thankful for my dishwasher) We pulled up at the drive through and first had to wait about 10 minutes for a carload of high school girls to decide what they wanted to order. We pull up at the speaker and tell the young man I want a beef burrito, with nothing on it but cheese. No sauce, just cheese and a Sierra Mist to drink. He asked "Do you want Red or spicy sauce with that?" After we figured out what he said, we told him "no" and pulled up behind the afore mentioned carload of girls. Evidently, they ordered enough for a party, because eventhough this is a fast food place, it took another 10 minutes for their food to be passed through the window. Or maybe they were flirting with the kinky headed kid at the window, who knows?
Anyway, we finally get to the window and my burrito and drink are handed over. No napkins.
"Could I have some napkins?"
"Uh yeah, I'll have to get some, I just ran out." ...... ...... .......
While we are waiting, I open my package to see that there are ONIONS on my burrito. When he comes back to the window with the napkins, he sees the look on my face and asks if something is wrong. We give him the burrito back and tell him I ordered it with nothing but cheese. "Nothing but cheese and meat. No Sauce." ...... ....... .......
Finally it's handed over and we pull out of the lot onto the highway. When I open it up to chow down, it's a BEAN burrito. Turned around, went back and went inside...... ...... .....

"Can I help you?"
"Yes, I got this at the drive through, but I ordered a beef burrito and this is a bean burrito."
"Oh, ok."
The girl walks past another girl who walks over to me and asks, "What?"
"I bought this at the drive through. I ordered a beef burrito with nothing but cheese and meat. But the first burrito had onions on it, and when the guy gave me the second one it was a BEAN burrito." So she tells the workers to make me a beef burrito with nothing but meat and cheese.
The person putting it together looks at me and says.............
"You want Red or Spicy sauce with that?"..................................

"NOTHING BUT MEAT AND CHEESE. NOTHING BUT MEAT AND CHEESE." She smiles and I watch her as she puts only meat and cheese on the burrito. She passes it off to one of the other workers who then gives it to me, without an "I'm sorry." "Have a nice day." "Go play in the street."........

Finally I have my beef burrito, but I can only eat half of it because it's so darn greasy I can't stand it. Ahhhhh, the joys of fast food in America. I'm soooo thankful for it. Aren't you?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I have to admit, I didn't get very enthused about Veterans Day yesterday, but in all fairness, I'm still fighting a terrible sore throat and trying to work too. But, after reading Sooz's post, I felt I must mention my Dad. He fought in the Korean and Vietnam wars. In Korea, he was on the team that recovered the dead. What a memory to have. In Vietnam, he was a First Sergeant and did much more than just the one job. He had slides he took the entire time he was in Vietnam and Okinawa. We would bring them out at least once a year to view and he would tell us the same stories about them over and over again. We loved hearing them EVERY TIME! After he passed away, LeLe's father-in-law very graciously scanned them all and copied them to a CD. Thanks Big MK!!

My Dad was very humble about his military career. He didn't really talk much about things he personally did, but talked about his unit in general and what the enemy was doing. After his death, we found several medals he won. What a man. Thanks to men like him, we are able to live freely and do whatever we want, say whatever we want, and worship however we want without fear. So, here's to you Papa! We love you, we miss you, and we appreciate your sacrifice for all of us.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Weekend...The Good and the Bad

I started out my weekend on Friday staying in bed and on the couch all day. Sore throat and slight cough. (Have I caught what your little ones had Mrs. Louisa Gabrielle?) I took over the counter meds and was able to function, but just felt rotten. Saturday I felt better and was glad because as most of those who read my blog know, it was the first day of deer season. I cooked up a pot of chili and drove to Rison to the family deer camp and ate lunch with my men. I also took some really cool pictures.

I thought those were worth sharing. I also took a photo of SR in front of a really large tree and he returned the favor....

And before we I left, I posed for one with my J.

I only wish my LeLe had been there. The chili was good and the walk through the woods was so nice. After I visited with my Mom and my sisters, I headed back to Sheridan where I began feeling bad again.

I didn't sleep well, which is no surprise to anyone, but my throat was getting worse by the hour. I couldn't go to church, and spent the entire day in bed. When I got to work this morning...(no way I can call in sick this time of year) my nurse practitioner was amazed at how bad my throat was. So, she gave me some medicine and put me on the road to recovery. Some of the medicine makes me feel pretty "happy" if you know what I mean, so I have to take smaller doses than prescribed while trying to work. Still, I'm so glad God saw fit to create medicines for what ails us.

And that was my weekend. The good and the bad, the long and the short of it. Not very impressive, but it's mine.

Friday, November 9, 2007

To Sleep Perchance to Dream Part Deux...

Amazingly, I was able to sleep well enough last night that I had a very vivid dream about my father. I often dream about him and in my dreams, he is always sick, but looks healthy and feels good. (That's the great thing about dreams.) He had come home from the hospital, and was sitting up in my parents' den, in a hospital bed. His shirt was off, and he had his perpetual farmer's tan. Isn't it hilarious that he even had it in the dream? I was able to rub his arm as he smiled at me with his beautiful smile. He not only looked healthy, but I was amazed that he looked so young and vibrant. I asked him how he felt, and he told me he had joy as the dream ended. Most of my dreams of him are like that. It makes me sure that he is in heaven having a wonderful time.

God often spoke to His faithful through dreams. I believe in my heart, that He sends these dreams to me. The first dream I had of Daddy after his passing, he came to comfort me. He told me so in the dream when I asked him why he was here. Then he told me he was very happy and that he would come back to visit from time to time.

I also had a very vivid dream one night of God. It was during a very heartwrenching time in the life of my son. When he was small, he dearly loved a child in his class. This child would alternate between being his best friend, and being his worst nightmare. But J loved him so much, that he always forgave him, and kept right on loving him. To see J's heart broken time and time again was destroying me, and I cried out to God in prayer. One night He came to me in a dream. I was kneeling as He sat on His throne. Of course, I could not look upon Him, but I could feel His light and His awesome power. He spoke, and asked me, "What would you ask of me?" And I told Him, "I want to be remembered as a kind person." He answered, "Very well. But you may well regret it." And then He reached out His hand, and I knew it was ok to touch Him. No words can describe the joy I felt at touching His hand. And then the dream ended. I'm sure it was a lesson to me, that God continues to love us, even when we hurt Him. Just like J continued to love. And that being kind, as J continued to be to the other child, is one of the things God wants from us. It often brings us heartache, but it's the right thing.

You may think this was just something my brain manufactured out of the stress of the time. Some scientist might explain it away with big words about brain function or some such rot. But you can never make me believe God did not visit me in my dream. And I will always have my proof that God does exist.

I haven't felt well today, and I decided to rest most of the day. The dream last night and past dreams kept coming to my mind as I laid around and tried to gather a little strength, so I thought I would share them.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Lord's Handiwork

I just had to share these photos of the beautiful tree in our yard, and the wonderful butterfly I happened upon while I had my camera in my hand.

Livin' the Life

I think most of you who read my blog are much younger than I. But I wonder, at this stage in your life, are you where you thought you'd be? What did you dream about doing or being when you grew up? When you graduated high school, did you think you would be living where you are, and doing what you are doing?

I've been reflecting lately on what I thought my life would be, and what it actually turned out to be. When I was very young, I wanted to be a teacher. I remember playing school all the time. I absolutely loved creating assignments for my pretend students. Even as I was in high school, I really thought I wanted to teach. I was in the Future Teachers of American club at school and everything. Problem was, no one in my family ever attended college and I wasn't encouraged to go. Now, I'm not blaming my parents AT ALL. They had all they could handle raising five kids on a low income. They would have been thrilled if I had gone on to college. But, they had no clue how to help me do that, and unfortunately, my high school counselor did not excel in that area either. So, I never even took any of the college entrance exams. Along came SR and it didn't really seem to matter anymore.

While I was wishing to be a teacher, I was also wishing to be a mother and homemaker. I wanted desperately to grow up, get married, and have kids. I wanted to devote myself to my kids and live the life I remember my mom living when I was a small child. She was a stay-at-home mom, and she had close neighbors who were all great friends. It was almost like a t.v. show in my mind. One where kids were around to play with, and adults who enjoyed sharing their lives and a cup of coffee. When my Dad retired from the Marines, we moved back to my parents' home town and lived out in the "boonies" where there were no neighbors, and my Mom was forced to go to work. She made it possible for me to be involved in EVERYTHING I wanted.

So, now after turning 49 in September, and being married for 30 years, I take stock and see where I am. I was able to have my precious children and I was able to stay at home with them while they were small. They were and are a blessing to me. I was never awakened in the night by a phone call that they were in trouble and needed bailing out. They were never involved in drugs, and I've never really had to worry about their behavior. I wasn't able to be formally educated to teach, but I believe I was a good teacher to them while we were at home. Like my mother, I had to go to work when they were a little older but I haven't been trapped in any job that made me terribly unhappy. My husband has been as supportive as any husband could possibly be and plans for a time when we can both retire and enjoy being together doing nothing or anything we feel like.

So, if I was asked, "Are you living the life you thought you would live, when you were younger?" I would have to say I pretty much am. And for that, I am very grateful. Are things perfect? No, of course not. But I have to focus on what is good, and let go of what cannot be changed. I never thought I would be living in a different town than where I raised my children, so that's a nice surprise. I never thought I'd be a medical secretary, but it's not a bad job most days. I never thought my son would be living two hours away, but that's ok. We can live with it. At least it's not 2 states away or something that harsh. As in everything in life, there are things I would change if I could, but the truth is, my life is pretty darn good. It could be soooo much worse.

God has truly blessed me. I just hope I can remember that more and thank Him for it more than I do. What do I wish for the future? I would like to be able to stay home, study God's word, read, paint, do more church work and play with any grandchildren I might have. Oh, and let's not forget my dream of going to Scotland one day. I just hope if it ever happens, I'm not too old to enjoy it. ;)

Morning Devotions

My morning devotional today was based on the Beattitudes. The question posed was, am I living like a citizen of God's kingdom, or a citizen of the world? I have to admit, I believe I really live of the world. To live in God's kingdom I have to be humble, merciful, have a pure heart, be a peacemaker, submit to HIS will, rejoice even when I don't feel like it and hunger for more of God. I am sooo not doing that.

No matter how many times I pray for the desire to live for God, I continue to live for myself. One thing I have been fairly successful at lately, is to not worship my free time. With God's help, I've been able to keep busy doing constructive things, and necessary things, without feeling resentful that I'm giving up "relaxation" time. I hope and pray that I can implement the Beattitude Attitudes more in the coming days.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Tis the Season?

It's that time of year again. The time when we all begin thinking about family gatherings, good food and fun. But, as everyone knows, the older a family gets, and the larger it becomes, the harder it is to plan get-togethers that everyone can attend. Impossible is the word that comes to my mind. My family has never done the same thing twice. Everyone else I know, has a set date and time for their traditional family gathering. Not us. I don't know if it is due to trying to accommodate others, or laziness, or just a "wait and see how it goes" attitude. But, right here, right now, I want to set a firm tradition. My immediate family, i.e. husband, son, daughter and son-in-law, will from this year forward, have our Christmas celebration on Christmas night. There. I did it. (Now, if extended family makes the same plan, I'm dead in the water.) The time may have to be shifted, but we will deal with that when it happens.

These times should be joyous and not stressful. Why do we make them so? We worry more about what we are going to do, what we are going to prepare and where we are going, than the reason we are doing it. We are so blessed in America, and we can't even enjoy this freedom we have, due to the "details" of it all. That's really sad. I bet the Heavenly Father just shakes His head at us. Maybe, as our new family tradition unfolds, we can reflect on the love of God and the blessing of family. We won't plan any big honking party, but a quiet, loving time of sharing. There was no big honking party when Christ was born. It was impressive just the same. The first Thanksgiving might have been a big party, but the food was simple, and the focus was not how many different dishes could be provided. They ate what they had and were THANKFUL for it.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Sleep, Perchance to Dream

I've mentioned my problem with getting a good night's sleep before. It continues to plague me. I tried yet another presciption medication last night to no avail. Nothing I can find will work more than once in a while, if at all. It's getting a bit costly to "try" medications over and over when you have to pay 20.00 for 21 pills.

I used to grin behind my hand when my "elders" talked about not sleeping.I considered it an old person problem. Sort of like all they talked about was sleeping, eating and going to the bathroom. My grandmother was famous for telling everyone she couldn't sleep, but every afternoon you would find her napping for a few hours. I believed she couldn't sleep because she was sleeping in the daytime. And that might have been part of it, but as I now have trouble sleeping, I wonder if that was really it. So, I guess my attitude is coming back to haunt me. Figures.

I do believe part of my problem is stress related. Tuesday was such a stressful day for me, that I wasn't able to sleep more than a hour at a time all night. But there again, last night was the same for me. I wind up getting up several times a night, trying medications that I've tried before, hoping against hope something will decide to work for me. The next day I battle the effects of these medications. They make me feel tired on top of the fatigue related to not getting enough restful sleep, and make my stomach hurt. My nurse keeps encouraging me to go to a sleep clinic. Problem is, my pattern is different every night and with my luck, I would sleep like a baby that particular time. I just think that the doctors at the sleep clinic will do exactly the same thing I am doing now. Trial and error in the medication department.

Therefore, I just keep on battling the problem and venting about it. It's the American way. ;)

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Week in Review

I haven't written lately due to fatigue mainly. The days at work seem to get longer and more stressfull by the week. The following, however, has been happening and I finally found the time to devote to typing it up....

1.) We hired a new L.P.N. to replace the one that left. She is young, beautiful, and seems to be a hard worker. She has only been able to work two days so far, and will work two days next week, due to babysitting issues. After that, she will have a regular sitter and will be with us every day. We are very pleased with what she has shown us in the first two days and if she continues in that vein, we have a winner ladies and gentlemen! The lab is cleaner than I've ever seen it, and that's just in the two days she's worked. Looks promising!

Our little clinic has always been steady, but lately it's been overwhelmed with the amount of patients requesting appointments. This time of year the allergy problems start, and school children share virus ailments abundantly. We have been inundated with new patient requests. We really don't know why. It could be that we are a really great place, or it could be these are problem patients who move from doctor to doctor until they get what they want. Time will tell.

2.) I am an adult. I am very MUCH an adult, and at 49, it is really aggravating to find acne on my face. My personal nurse says it's stress. Be that as it may, I tried to combat the villain with generic clearasil. Unfortunately, the ingredients did NOT agree with my skin and I swelled up like a balloon. For the past week, I have felt and looked as though I spent 8 hours in the sun without sunscreen. The only good thing is that the acne is gone. For now.

3.) At church tomorrow, we are kicking off our Operation Christmas Child emphasis. I love shopping to fill those shoe boxes for underpriviledged children in other countries. It takes so little to make them so happy. How blessed we are in the USA! Our On Mission Team is also planning a Christmas Festival to be held in Southland Village the Saturday before Christmas. This is a "trailer park" and the field is ripe unto harvest. We've discussed trying to purchase a small trailer and set it up as a base of operations for the entire year. We would like to hold Sunday School in the trailer as well as have a "Clothes Closet" operation. Please pray for this mission and that God will lead us in the direction HE wants us to go. This will be our first major step in the Acts 1:8 Challenge.

4.)My daughter and son-in-law are beginning their move back to the Sheridan area. Hooo Raaayyyy! I'll be so glad to have my LeLe closer. I love having them at the same church again. I just wish I had my baby boy here too, but he's where God wants him to be at present.

5.) It's fall, but the weather has not cooperated. Today however, has been pretty nice. I slept with the window open last night. I say I slept, but I really just tossed and turned all night. I have problems sleeping and can't tolerate the usual sleep aids. I don't know if I will ever find anything to help me get a good nights' sleep, but I keep trying.

6.) I bought a new cell phone. A Sony Ericsson. It has all kinds of bells and whistles, but I'm scared to death to use any of them. It can play mp3's but I'm afraid of running up a big phone bill so I probably won't download any from online. I don't know how to get it to play them anyway. I did download one new ringtone though. That was a treat. I have had this phone for 7 full days and I've received two calls on it. That's a little depressing, but maybe after my contacts realize I have a new number, they will call. ;) Don't call us, we'll call you.....

And that has been my week.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I'm Trying Lord, I'm Trying....

James 1:2-4 says: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I lack joy. Perseverance is a very hard lesson to learn. There are always so many "things" going on in life that cause heartache and stress. Children, jobs, trying to live a Christian life and live as a witness. A former pastor of mine was known for repeating this verse often. It has been in my mind and my heart much lately. I don't like asking for patience and perseverance because trials always come with that prayer. Not a big fan of trials. I covet your prayers for peace in my heart and mind.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Which Reindeer Are You?

I just had to......

You Are Rudolph

Sweet and shy, you tend to be happiest when you're making someone else happy.

Why You're Naughty: You sometimes stick that nose where it doesn't belong

Why You're Nice: Christmas would be a sad affair without you!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

It's Fall Y'all

Nothing pleases me more than decorating the front porch for Fall. The colors of the mums are beyond beautiful, and the pumpkins just look so homey. Leave it to our Lord to make the dry, dying foliage so spectacular and moving. The only thing missing so far this year, is the cooler temperatures. But with the beauty of Autumn, how can I really complain?

The mums I planted earlier in my two blue pickle pots around the pump are blooming tremendously and are such a source of joy for me. How did God come up with such beautiful things? Not to mention creating beings as complex as humans? It boggles the mind. But, the point of all this, is that I want to say Thank You to my LORD for His creations and his beautiful world.

I spent the day with my sister yesterday and enjoyed it so much. We found the three new pots on the porch, and also looked at Christmas decorations. I even bought one gift, and she bought two. Eventhough it was too hot for us, and we were drained and exhausted when we left Little Rock, we had a lot of fun and just enjoyed being together. Sisters are a gift from God. I've seen that phrase often, but I have experienced the truth of it more times than I can count. Thank you Lord, for all three of my sisters.

I hope and pray you all can enjoy this time when the air begins to dry out, the colors of Fall decorate our world, and the anticipation of Christmas begins to seep into our minds.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

I Gave In

I wasn't going to do this. I was afraid I couldn't remember the answer to some of these questions, but I came up with something. These little personality lists seem to be all the rage in the cyber-world of blogging and myspace. I'm not much into following trends and such, but I'm bored and can't think of anything else to blog about at present, so here goes....

1. Who is your man? SR

2. How long have you been together? Married 30 years 5 months.

3. How long dated? 3 years

4. How old is your man? 54

5. Who eats more? He does.

6. Who said "I love you" first? Me. Although I really didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.

7. Who is taller? Him.

8. Who sings better? Me.

9. Who is smarter? Depends on what the topic is. Mostly he knows more than I will ever know, and has a much better memory.

10. Whose temper is worse? Mine. (And I hate to admit that)

11. Who does the laundry? Both of us. He really does more than I do because by the time I get home at night, I don’t want to do anything.

12. Who takes out the garbage? Him.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Is there a wrong side?

14. Who pays the bills? Him

15. Who is better with the computer? Me.

16. Who mows the lawn? Him.

17. Who cooks dinner? Well, we call it supper, and we both cook on occasion. Not a lot of cooking going on at our house these days.

18. Who drives when you are together? Him.

19. Who pays when you go out? Him.

20. Who is most stubborn? Him.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? We are seldom wrong……;)

22. Whose parents do you see the most? About the same I think.

23. Who kissed who first? It was a mutual thing, if I remember correctly.

24. Who asked who out? He asked me out via a friend.

25. Who proposed? No proposal was issued. We sort of just evolved into planning a wedding.

26. Who is more sensitive? Me, but he can be very sensitive when he wants.

27. Who has more friends? Well, since neither one of us really have any friends, I can’t answer that one.

28. Who has more siblings? Me. I have four, he has two.

29. Who wears the pants in the family? Definitely HIM. I have ways however, of cinching them up.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I'm in a Hurry and Don't Know Why

I am the type of person who goes at breakneck speed when I'm working. I can't figure out how to slow down and relax while I'm trying to get something done. I find myself breathing hard and fretting until the job is finished. Even at work, it's like I MUST get this done so I can move on to the next thing that I MUST get done. Even when I'm doing some mundane task at home, like cleaning the tub. Man, if I'd just slow down, I'd probably do a much better job, and it wouldn't seem so hard. I make myself so tired doing that. I envy people who seem to just take their time, not get too fretful about it, and get it done just the same.

I must take after my mother. There was a time a few years back when our family was helping my sister in her catering business. My mother was in such a hurry when we were cleaning up, that she would load her arms full of breakable dishes, and almost run to the kitchen. Needless to say, several things were broken. I can't shop with her because it's as if she is race walking through the mall. I'm worn out before I even get to the second store.

Having shared that, I have to admit I'm ready for Christmas. I know! It's not even Halloween yet! I've purchased a scrub jacket with Santas all over it. Bright red. Woo hoo. Can't wait to wear it. I've always liked Christmas and giving gifts but not the shopping part. The kids are older now, so I don't have to buy so many. I spend about as much, but their "toys" are more expensive. ;)

The older I get, the faster time goes too. I guess that's true for everyone. I can remember when time crawled. That must be about 100 years ago or so, when I was a wee lass.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

You Tube

Our church has an email prayer chain. It's FBCPrayerwarriors and one of the members sent everyone a link to a YouTube video that moved me to tears. If you would like to see it, the url is:

If that doesn't work for you, (and I had trouble with it) do a search for Dancing With Jesus from Texasbarnabas. Let me know what you think about it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Shake it Up!

A whole lotta shakin' goin' work. Our nurse just gave her two week notice. In a three person office, this is major stuff. I felt it was coming. I could see (hear) the writing on the wall. It seems that two offers of more money and shorter hours were too enticing to ignore. So, the fear sets in. How long will we be without a much needed third person? Will whoever is hired fit in?

I have to be honest and admit that if something else with more money and better hours was offered to me, I'd be gone. Who wouldn't? (It doesn't help that I was screamed and cursed this afternoon on the phone by someone seeking drugs.) Not much out there for someone with no education though. And considering I have only lived in this town 6 years, but I've changed jobs 4 times, well, I don't really want to look for something else.

I'm praying that God will bring someone perfect in, and that in the meantime, I will be able to cope with doing two people's jobs. The hours are long already, being 8:00 to 6:00, and I REALLY don't want to have to go in earlier and leave later, just to keep up.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Calf Rope!

I give up. This is where I put my elbows on the desk, shake my head, and lower my forehead into my hands. In our clinic, during the chaos that sick folks can bring, one of the few things that calms my stressed out nerves is music. Unfortunately, I must rely on the old fashioned portable radio. That in itself is not the real issue. The problem is, the radio stations that are available in Arkansas, leave much to be desired. The Christian stations play beautiful music that I really enjoy, but they must fill their programming with discussions. I wouldn't be against that, but in a work situation, the last thing I need is more people talking to me. This week, I had the radio tuned to a popular station that plays songs from the 80's, 90's and Today. It shall remain nameless, and I do understand it is not alone in its programming practices. The real thorn in my paw is that they play the same four songs every hour or so it seems. Everytime I raise my ears from the phone or have a second to listen, I hear the same dang song. Over and over and .....well you get the idea. I'm told by some that the reason for this is that the stations are paid to play certain songs. And every time that certain song is played, they are paid yet again. I understand the desire to get paid all you can. It just irritates the living daylights out of me that I can't listen to my choice of music, without having it repeated until I'm sick of it. I've tried playing CD's on my computer, but it bogs my system down and makes my work harder.

Now I realize that in the whole scheme of things, this is not going to hair-lip the Pope, or tear a great rift in the space time continuum. But it's really sad that those of us who work very very hard at our jobs, can't turn on the radio and get a little varity in their listening pleasure.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Ok, so I'm obsessed with my new antique furniture. Just bear with me and I'll get over it soon. It's just that the old stuff is so beautiful. I really prefer it to the contemporary furniture that is available today. Not just because it's "old" and I love anything old, but it's made from solid wood, and put together so well. So, here is my cabinet with my some of my Depression Glass collection, and my new dresser.

Here is the dresser. Below is the small flower inset in the top drawer.

New China Cabinet

This is my new china cabinet. It will, of course, look better when I get all my pretty things into it. I will take a pic of the dresser later.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Success of Another Kind

This weekend was mostly a good one for me. Friday was spent doing the yearly doctor thing, and gathering a few needed items from Wally World. Saturday SR took the day off and for my birthday we went antique shopping. We have been looking all over for certain items. Twice we found things I would have been happy with, and the price was right, but the weather was not. We couldn't haul furniture home in the bed of a truck when the rain was pouring down. Disappointment and frustration was the order of those two days. But, God in his wisdom, and His goodness, wanting to give me the desire of my heart, had a plan.

We traveled to Malvern, then up I-30 to Benton, and on to Bryant to shop the Antique and Flea Markets along the interstate. Blackwell's was having a half price sale. Whoopie! We found an absolutely gorgeous antique china cabinet and considered buying it. We kept looking and found a dresser that was perfect. Hmmm, two items. Pricey. Well, I had money saved up, and it was my birthday gift we were shopping for, soooooo, I talked SR into buying both! I was so happy I was in tears. It was all I could do not to walk behind the store owner with a stupid grin on my face when I was showing him what we wanted.

We got both pieces home, I shined them up and they are awesome. As soon as I get them into their perfect places, I will take a photo and share. The china cabinet is more elegant and more expensive than anything I found earlier. So, God knew it was going to be there at that price. Isn't He something?!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Conflicting Emotions

I often refer to earlier posts, and again I will be doing that. I wrote about resigning from teaching Sunday School and that I felt God was calling me in a different direction. Today I got a new "feel" for one of the things He has for me. I agreed right before our church's Mission Celebration, to help with Operation Christmas Child. It had been on my heart for a few weeks and when the opportunity presented itself, I offered my services to the lady in our church who heads it up. She was delighted and has been in touch with me about it a few times.

She called me to meet with her today. My Friday off. MY DAY OFF. Of course, I told her when I volunteered, that I was off on Fridays and would be free to help her. Don't offer if you aren't willing to follow through right? My first inclination was to make excuses. I did have a regular doctor's appointment in Benton this morning, but I agreed to meet her when I came back into town. I had a selfish feeling and really started to regret offering my help. (I REALLY hate to admit this y'all) When I got home, I dutifully called her and we met at the church. The more we talked, the more excited I became. Ideas began flitting through my mind and my heart and before I knew it, JOY filled my heart.

I am so guilty of saying no, simply because I'm selfish and lazy and want my own way. I guess it goes back to the other post about making an idol of my free time. But, God is His mercy, wisdom, and love, takes my reluctant agreement and turns it into blessing. Now, I really hope and pray that He does the same for me on the 23rd, when it's MY turn to lead Children's Church.....

And oh yeah, if you are interested in what Operation Christmas Child is, or want more information, please contact me. It's a wonderful ministry and it's very simple for someone to participate with no strings attached.


Dear Blog Friends, I have a dear friend who lives in Georgia and her family is going through an extremely hard time right now. She has always been there for me when I was down or frustrated and I want to help her all I can. I've blogged about her before and I refer to her as Y. Her daughter, E, found out a short time ago that she is expecting. But the joyous news was shortlived due to the finding of a tumor the size of a football in her abdomen. It is entertwined with her stomach, small intestines and leg. It's inoperable, but a port has been inserted to take chemo directly to the tumor. Apparently she has non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and will undoubtedly lose the baby. They are relieved that her illness is treatable, but of course heartbroken about the baby. I grieve for them so badly. How do you deal with this kind of news? God will comfort, but we are weak and have trouble letting him take this kind of burden. Please lift this family up in your prayers.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I decided to be play it very low-key, on this, my 49th birthday. I usually tease my family about it, reminding them, and play around at work about it. But, for some reason I really didn't want anyone to make a fuss this year. Birthdays in my life have not been a really big deal. When I was growing up, we didn't have big parties every year, or even occasionally as I recall. I can only remember having one party, and it was a "bunkin' party" when I was in the 7th grade I think. When my kids were growing up, I gave them more parties than I ever thought about having, but not really that many, now that I look back. As they got older, they really didn't want them. So, like I said, birthdays have never been a big deal. As it turned out, I received more phone calls and cards this year than I can EVER remember getting. No one in my family forgot about it, and I received cards from people I never expected. I even received flowers from a former co-worker. SR and I are going antique shopping on Saturday to see if I can find something special.

For those of you who sent a card or an email, thank you so much. I love you all. Just taking time from your busy lives, to sit down and send an email, or actually write a card and mail it, is a precious thing to me.

I will now be 49 every year. (probably until I'm 59)

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Sweet Success

I have finally added mums to the new pots I purchased for my yard. I just wanted to show everyone what I was ranting about. :)

Now, I want to tackle the backyard. I have plans, but don't know how much help I'll get with them. I may have to drive up to the rock place and load them myself. I don't think I'll be getting them for my birthday as I had hoped.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Best Laid Plans.....

I haven't blogged this week, mainly because we've been so busy at the clinic that I can hardly function when I get home in the evenings. School has begun and all the little kiddies are sick and infecting each other. It's gonna be a long winter.

This morning was a comedy of errors in my world. I had an outpatient procedure scheduled in Malvern for 9:00. (Nothing major, just something that periodically crops up and has to be checked out.) When I arrived, the order from our clinic (that I personally faxed earlier in the week) was lost. Since we are closed on Friday's I had to call the main clinic and sweet talk a nurse into sending another one. After waiting over an hour when all was said and done, the person who was to actually perform the procedure refused. It seems that I've had it done somewhere else before, and since they didn't have those records for comparison, she refused to do it. Ohhhhh Kaaayyy then. I drove back to Sheridan, and called to make an appointment to have it done at the original facility. Because I am not the nurse or the doctor, they refused to allow me to make an appointment for myself. It didn't matter that I had been there before, and that I had an order from the doctor in my hand, ready to fax. No dice. This is when I sit in the dark with my head in my hands and wonder what is wrong with this picture....

Sooo, I emailed my sister to cry on her shoulder. But does she give me the pity I REALLY want? No, she tells me the truth. WHO WANTS THE TRUTH when you are wanting a pity party? She told me things could be worse, that God is in control and has a plan and to smile, God loves me. Smart Aleck!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

I Was Tagged

Ok LeLe, this is for you....
Four Things Meme (whatever that means)

4 jobs I've had in life:
-Assitant librarian
-Secretary to an attorney
-Secretary at family owned propane company
-Medical secretary
(I must have REALLY wanted to be a secretary when I grew up.)

4 places I've lived:
-Rison, AR
-Oceanside, CA
-Shreveport, LA
-Bethlehem, PA
-Sheridan, AR
(Ok, there are more but we won't list them all....)

4 favorite foods:
-Crab Alfredo
-White cheese dip
(Can anyone say "Cheese"?)

4 places I'd rather be:
-In bed asleep
-An Ozark Mountain hideaway
(did I mention in bed asleep?)

4 movies I can watch over and over
-Last of the Mohicans
-Dances With Wolves
-cant' think of anything else

4t.v. shows I like to watch:
-Decorating Cents
-Miami Ink (I know, that's really weird, but what can I say? I like it.)
-What Not to Wear

4 websites I view daily:
-All blogs I am familiar with
-My email in box
Those are the only two I actually view daily.

4 computers I've owned:
-Compaq Presario
-custom built system (gift from cousin)
-Dell laptop

4 People to tag... no one cause I'm sure they will do this if they want to and are probably already tagged anyway.....

Don't Give Up

In an earlier post I mentioned that I waited too late to purchase a couple of outdoor flower pots for the front of my house. I'm not a great shopper, and don't enjoy going from place to place in search of what I'm really wanting, unless there is a definite need for it right away. As I have to go shopping from time to time for necessary items, I look for things I didn't find the last time I shopped. As I was in the Benton Walmart yesterday, I decided to take a look in the garden center, just to see if maybe there was anything there, that hadn't been the last time. Low and behold!!! The exact two pots I missed buying at the Sheridan Walmart were there on the shelf calling my name. Where did they come from? There were only two of them, and at the same price I remembered. Glory be, I grabbed those jokers and off I went to check out. Maybe the pot fairy took them from Sheridan and placed them on the shelf at Benton.

So, after returning home, I them set up in the front and I decide to put dirt in the one that is sitting upright. I think I'll put a mum in it when it gets a little cooler. I love to have brightly colored mums in the yard for the fall. I have some plastic pots on the outskirts of our yard, that have no flowers but still have dirt. They are just for "dirt storage" and I found one, and brought it around to the front to transfer the dirt from one to the other. As I poured it out, I also poured out a million red ants. Thankfully, I didn't get stung, which is a miracle, but I quickly poured them and the dirt back into the original pot. I searched the garage and yard for something to spray on them. The one can of bug spray I found was nearly empty, and the large sprayer SR uses to combat the pesky things was empty too. Luckily, when he got home from work, he mixed up a good batch of poison and went to work on that pot of dirt/ants. I just hope I didn't get another mound of them started in my flower bed. SR has to spray weekly and sometimes daily to keep them away from the house.

This is Labor Day weekend and I'm also taking Tuesday off. It has an amazing effect on my emotional state. Even Thursday when I knew the weekend was upon me, I was giddy. We are going to Russellville on Tuesday to see baby boy. It's been too long since I could give him a hug.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

What I Learned

As I mentioned in an earlier post, our church held a Fall Women's Retreat this weekend. Our Women's Ministry hosted the event and worked very hard to offer women a place to worship and learn. The theme of this year's retreat was "The Heart of Worship." And these are the lessons God challenged me with.

1. True worship, is from the heart. A desire to exclaim that HE IS HOLY. What we do to please Him, is a result of our worship. All the works we do, the singing of songs, the giving of tithes and offerings are RESULTS of our worship. It's a heart thing.

2. I have created idols in my life without realizing it. ANYTHING that is more important than spending time with God is an idol. What do I do the first thing in the morning? Do I immediately get a cup of coffee, and THEN pray for His will for my day? Do I push aside His Word and read for pleasure? Do I check my email before I spend time with Him? Do I worship my free time?

3. Delayed obedience is disobedience. If I don't say yes right away, but choose to consider it, or say, "I will later, Lord", that is not obedience.

4. I am a vessel to be filled with His Living Water. I may be a plastic cup, or Waterford Crystal, depending on His purpose for my life. I'm not to envy the crystal if my purpose is to be the plastic cup. And the water MUST be replenished or it becomes stagnate. As a believer, the Living Water is His love, His guidance, and His Word.

5. Do I believe God, or just believe IN Him? If the woman who had an issue of blood believed just touching Jesus's garment would heal her, and it did, how can I not believe He is what He says He is and can do what He says He can do? It may not be on my time table. She waited 12 long years.

Our speakers were obviously led by the Lord. No one had knowledge of what the other was going to say. But as God is all knowing, He placed each perfect issue on their hearts and everything meshed. It was as if they had all coordinated and chose topics that would match. Isn't He AMAZING? I am so guilty of forgetting that.

I am often lazy. I make excuses to not attend functions like this and talk myself out of them. I'm too tired, I need my rest, I feel alone in a crowd.... But I convinced myself to attend ALL of this retreat. It was so worth it. I didn't feel alone, I was able to deal with the fatigue, I opened myself up to listen to what God had to say, I was able to sing His praises with a free heart, and was blessed and instructed. I didn't make an idol of my personal time and was rewarded by God's blessings.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

First Contact

Many times at night, when I'm waiting to fall asleep, I think about this blog. And I let my mind roam so it can create some kind of posting idea. I'm sure, like everyone else in the world, I begin with one thought and it travels through my brain until I'm in a place I didn't expect. Last night was no different and I wound up thinking about the first time I really met my husband.

When you are from as small a place as I was, everyone knows everyone else. And I mean EVERYONE. I knew who my future husband was, but had never really been around him. I will call him SR. (When we write notes to each other, he signs SR and I sign BJ)

One night, when I was 14, I was staying overnight with a friend. As teens do, we decided to sneak out of the house after bedtime, and see who was uptown. Now, at this point, I have to add that I was not a dare devil or a bad child. I actually called my mother and told her what we planned. So, when the parents went to sleep, we snuck out and walked up to what was then the Exxon station where some others were milling around.

SR was there and although we never actually spoke to each other, he watched me. He was leaning against a car, with his arms crossed just watching me. I didn't think anything of it at the time, except maybe curiosity. I never entertained the thought that he might be interested. I don't think he even remembers that event, but I can still see him that way in my mind. It would be another year before we actually made dating contact, but I consider that our first meeting. He was 5 years older than I, and it was very flattering to have someone that age show an interest in little ole me. We were brought together by a mutual friend. One of those instances where in high school your friend says, "I know someone who wants to date you." Thus we were set up and the rest is history. We dated exclusively until I was 18 and we married.

Now some would be against dating only one person all through those years and marrying so young, but it's been a pretty good thing for me. Of course I think about what I might have missed from time to time, but God had a plan. Being so young, and having our children while we were that young, has been good for us. We were able to enjoy them and "play" with them, and now we are young enough to enjoy the empty nest.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Food and Family

Last night I had the pleasure of eating supper at Mazzios with LeLe and my sister and her family. I LOVE being with my sister. (and it goes without saying LeLe too) Sister's family is hilarious and we always have a marvelous time together. Her son is a genius both academically and comically. Her daughter is blessed with brains, beauty and voice. My niece's boyfriend is relatively new to the family but never meets a stranger so he was very entertaining. It was funny watching our waitress bring him drinks without being asked, but forgetting everything my niece asked for.

The entire time we were there, we were laughing. And of course those around us looked at us from time to time as if they were wondering whether we were sane or not. Evenings like these are a balm to our poor stressed minds and bodies. We all agreed we should do that more often. I don't think I take time to enjoy my family enough. But, we are spread out in different towns and it does make it a little harder than just running across town for a visit.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I Waited Too Long.....Again

I always hear, "If you see what you want, you'd better get it right then. It's never there when you go back for it." It is SO TRUE. I haven't really finished landscaping my yard. We've been in our house for 5 years and I'm still working on it. I wonder if you ever get finished?... I have a nice built up flower bed in front of my living room window with azaleas planted. I decided to place one nice pot under the spout of an antique water pump, and lay the other pot on its side. That seems to be in vogue right now in yard art. I saw two pots at the Sheridan Walmart a couple of months ago and talked myself out of buying them. I really hadn't come up with this idea then anyway, so it was no big deal. I just liked the pots and the price. Today after my decision, I went back to Walmart to get them. Of course, they aren't there. It's getting late in the gardening season and those things are disappearing quickly. Either they have already been purchased, or they've been stored away for next year.

After husband and I went to Colton's Steak House for supper tonight (YUM) we drove over to Home Depot, hoping they would have something. Not. They still have several planters, but not what I was looking for. We then went to the Benton Walmart, and they had even less. I struck out. Sooo, I supposed I'll have to wait until next summer to do what I want. I have decided though, IF WE CAN FIND THEM, that I want a pallet of decorative stone for my birthday next month. I have a couple of trees in the back yard that need help desperately. I plan to build up around them and plant something that will withstand the heat and the cold. I may fill in with some annuals next spring.

I don't know what has precipitated this desire to actually get out there and work in the yard, but it's good exercise and I love to create.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Time Flies When You're Having Fun....

I can't believe my work week is almost over. Seems like yesterday I was writing about Wednesday being Hump Day. Eventhough I experience it daily, I'm still amazed at how many people want to be seen at the clinic in one day. In our local newspaper a while back, some disgruntled folks wrote a really nasty letter to the editor about our town's medical clinics. Most folks are intelligent and generous enough to realize that we are only human, and we can only see so many patients in a day. I suppose a few others don't realize they are not the only ones needing medical attention. They also feel that our simple clinics should be trauma and emergency centers at all hours, eventhough we/they are not equipped with either that type of trained staff or equipment. I understand their frustration, but I have to say, it comes with the decision to live in a small town. You can't have it both ways. You can't have a small town atmosphere, with a lower crime rate, and have what the larger cities have to offer too. It seems that two of our town's doctors are either retiring shortly, or are considering leaving their practice. That means a burden will be placed on the ones remaining. I don't really see how we can deal with that amount of patients in a week without turning some away and making them mad. I hope and pray they will understand we can only do so much, and we have a life too. We like to go home at a decent hour and enjoy family and free time as well as the next guy.

On Mission
Our church (FBC Sheridan) is having an On Mission Celebration Sunday this coming Sabbath. The On Mission Team, of which I am a member, has been planning this for months. We voted as a church body to take on the Acts 1:8 Challenge. "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea, and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." We are endeavoring to include every church member in at least one mission project, no matter how small. It is the Great Commission in action. We will celebrate all the mission projects already in place, encourage each member to participate, hold a commissioning service for one of our own who will be going to Asia on mission, and serve a meal. Anyone and everyone is invited to attend. Our Jerusalem is Sheridan, our Judea is Arkansas, our Samaria is the United States and of course our Ends of the Earth is self explanatory. We ask for prayer that we will, as a church body and as individuals, truly accept this challenge.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A Glimpse of the Past

Found this photo of LeLe and Chelle when they were little sweeties. Had to share.

Friday, August 10, 2007


Well, it's finally Friday. And I thought I would feel relieved. Not so. It's been an EXTREMELY hard week for all three of us in the clinic. I haven't been able to relax yet and can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders eventhough it's 10:30 on Friday morning. I've already been out gathering supplies for a "Promotion Party" at Sunday School, watered my dying flowers in the back yard, washed two loads of clothes, and pondered over and over what in the world I'm going to do about a problem my mother is having with transportation. I have a long list of jobs to accomplish this weekend, so I guess that's why I can't really relax. I thought this time in my life was supposed to be easier. But the older I get, the more I find that your problems just shift and change. They don't go away.

What I'd really like to do....and I imagined this while I was laying abed this morning wishing I didn't have to get up.... is find a cabin on a lake somewhere and withdraw from the world for a while. Lay on a raft and snooze. Snack on chips and cokes while I read a good book. Or, after reading LeLe's blog, I remembered how much I want to visit Scotland, so I pictured staying in a little cottage close to a loch. The t.v. would be playing and I would be listening intently to how the words were pronouced more than what was being said. (I love a Scottish accent) Some people dream of vacationing at some exotic island resort. Not so, says I. Give me a mountain lake hideaway or a Scottish moor.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


A lot of folks call Wednesdays "Over the Hump Day." I think it's because it's the middle of the week, and only half a week to go till the work week ends. It doesn't feel any better to me than any other day. I'm not relieved until about 6:00 on Thursday evenings. I know then, that I am off for three days. Happy Happy Joy Joy is my feeling on the matter.

Yesterday was an extremely stressful day. I found myself multi-tasking to the max. I remember being in the middle of about 3 tasks, with two or three more demanding immediate attention. I was so stressed, that all the angst I was feeling erupted from my lips in an uncharacteristic phrase. It wasn't a curse word or anything like that, but was so unusual for me, that one co-worker was a bit taken aback, the other thought it was hilarious. I was afraid today would be more of the same, but God chose to give me relief. Thanks to Him on High for His mercy. I have also been invited to lunch with LeLe's Mother-in-Law and I'm looking forward to that. Sooo, my 'Over the Hump Day' seems to be a good one after all.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Weekend Update

My weekend didn't wind up as I had planned. It's like that saying "Life is what happens while you are making other plans." I intended to make some really nice posters for our church's upcoming "On Mission Celebration" but my time was more limited than I expected. I spent the entire day Friday with my mother. She had some medical issues, and needed my sister and me to be with her for a little testing. Nothing major and all is well, but sister and I spent the entire day waiting. I guess I'd rather be the wait-er than the test-ee. So, the day I had blocked off for poster making was shot. Saturday was catch-up day with a little housework, and then a baby shower for a family member. I'm not much into those, eventhough I know how important they are. Guess it's my "feeling alone in a crowd" thing. Anyway, that lasted a whole lot longer than I expected, so that time was gone. I found time to make the posters, but they were not what I had planned, nor are they as eye catching as I wanted. Maybe that is a pride thing. They have the information we needed to share, and they are legible, and that is all that really matters. Maybe that is God's way of dealing with my pride. Hmmmm. Due to some other issues with my mother, I had to travel to Rison after Sunday School. Since my father passed away, I have more responsibility for my Mom and that's ok. It's nice that she seems to really appreciate all I do for her. And my view on it is, she worked hard to give me all the things I needed, and lots of stuff I just WANTED when I was growing up. It's pay back time.

It was a productive weekend, but not restful and not what I had invisioned. Still, I can't complain. Everything that was pressing was accomplished and life goes on.

Thursday, August 2, 2007


LeLe's Dad and I were reminiscing with her and MK last night about when she and her brother were small. Brother used to call to her from another room and expect her to come running to see what he wanted. In my mind, I can still hear the voices of my children when they were tiny. The way brother would shorten her name, leaving out one of the vowels. The way you could hear the aggravated tone of her reply at being called to stop what she was doing, and appease her younger sibling. I miss hearing that. I miss my children.

This morning I was going over that conversation in my head and realized that I can still hear all the voices of the people I love, who are now are gone. Plain as day I can hear LeLe and brother's voice, but more than that, I can hear my father calling my name. (He also left out a vowel.) It's a memory that both gives me comfort and tears my heart out. I can still hear my maternal grandparents calling to me. I hear the love in their voices and the way they changed my name to make it sound funny or loving.

I hope that my children will be able to hear my voice when I am gone. And I hope and pray that it is a comfort and the memory is of loving words.

Monday, July 30, 2007


I was looking for something the other day, and came across this photo of Chelle when she was a young'un. She was getting ready for her cousin, Barbie's wedding and her Mom was "doing her hair" up right. She was always a cutie pie, and I thought those who read my blog regularly, and know her would find this interesting. So Chelle, enjoy!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

From the Mouths of Babes....

Our Sunday School lesson this morning was about how Mary annointed Jesus's feet and wiped them with her hair. The main point was that you can worship the Lord in many different ways, not just by attending a church service. She showed the Lord how much she loved him, by humbling herself before a group of men, who probably thought she was in the way. Judas was aggravated that the precious oil could have been sold and he could have pocketed the coin. As I was explaining the story to the 3rd graders, I asked them to suggest ways they could personally worship Jesus, and show Him how much they appreciated what He had done for them, and how much they loved him. One of the suggestions was to read their Bibles. Kendall, a very lovely child with a very mature understanding of the Bible's stories made a comment that stopped my heart. "You know, the Bible is like Jesus's feet, and our eyes are the oil." I was moved to tears.

"Suffer the little children unto Me, for such is the Kingdom of God."

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Movies and Entertainment

Husband and I have been very disappointed with our Dish Network. Not the way it performs, but the choices available for the prices charged. We've subscribed to different packages, trying to find something worth watching and have unsubscribed after about a month of seeing the same shows or movies over and over again. To get everything that is offered, it costs a small fortune, and we are not THAT into tv. The last two weekends we have rented movies and have been disappointed in those as well. Searching at the movie rental place is not a fun experience by any stretch of the imagination and the cost for renting a crummy movie is just too much. Trying to order pay-per-view movies are a joke. If you find something interesting, it begins at some weird time, such as 5:40 or 6:20. Why can't they begin at 7:00 or 7:00? I think I'm going to try using Netflix and see how that goes. LeLe said she heard it's a pretty good system. Any of you out there use Netflix? Anything I should know before I take the plunge?

We rented The Shooter with Mark Wahlberg and The Fountain with Hugh Jackman this weekend. Shooter was pretty good for a change. Fountain was extremely hard to understand, and the parts that were understandable were so sad I was tearing up. Any good suggestions for movies to order from Netflix?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Week in Review

Ever feel like the news is all bad? That seems to be the case for my week. I haven't posted anything for fear of sounding really self pitying and resentful. I've heard lots of sad tales this week, and it makes me think my life is not so bad, but it has definitely been a hard hard week. My co-workers have both been under the weather. One has asthma and had several attacks this week. The other had a touch of the stomach flu, then fell from her horse yesterday and broke her ankle. The clinic has been booked to the max every day and it's been a real struggle to keep up. One day it seemed like every one that came in brought a family member to be seen as well, without asking ahead of time. So we saw double the amount we had scheduled at the beginning of the day. As far as real problems, this is petty. There are several I know who have real serious issues and my prayers are going up for them. It's still hard to rest and relax when there is so much stress during the work day. I'm hoping I can let some of it out tomorrow as it's Friday and we are closed.

Friday, July 20, 2007


1. I’ve come to realize that my last kiss was… a quick peck before bed last night. Husband leaves for work before I wake up.

2. I am listening to…highway traffic noise and the air conditioner.

3. I talk…too much.

4. I am dating…hmmmm, can't remember.

5. My best friend…my husband.

6. My car is…a truck.

7. I hate it when people ask…who does your teeth? It's a complimentary question, but it's not like they are done every week like a hairdresser. God did my teeth.

8. Love…is Joy

9. Marriage is…comfort, support, companionship, loyalty.

10. Somewhere, someone is thinking…Don't these people have a life?

11. I’m always… tired.

12. I have a secret cheesy crush…It's a secret, remember?.

13. My mobile phone…For convenience only. I don't like to talk on phones much.

14. When I wake up in the morning…I wish I was still asleep.

15. When I go to bed at night…I take my RLS med, sit in the bed with a book and wait for the pill to take effect.

16. Right now I am thinking about…my need to get off this computer and clean the house.

17. Babies are…the only thing of this world that's perfect.

18. I get on myspace…Only to check out my son and one friend who sends me messages that way.

19. Today I…want to be lazy, but have housework to catch up on and errands to run.

20. Tonight I will…do the same thing I do every night. Find something to eat, sit on the couch and read while husband alternately naps and channel surfs.

21. Tomorrow I will…enjoy another day at home and prepare for teaching Sunday School.

22. I really want…to be a rich retired person, playing golf, traveling for fun, and playing with my grandchildren.

23. Someone that will most likely repost this is…hmmmm, good question.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Music To Work By

I just came across two pretty good Christian musicians. I was hunting on ITunes for some good stuff to listen to while I work. If you are interested, go check out Fernando Ortega and Mark Schultz. I like songs that are easy to sing along with, and these two fit that bill. Let me know if any of you are familiar with them and what you think.

Act Your Age

As you may know, I teach 3rd graders in Sunday School and the children all meet in what we lovingly named the Kids PARK. (Praise and Rejoice in the King) Last Sunday all the children met together in the park and had a relay race. (I can see LeLe beginning to grin like a 'possum) In the race, they had to pick up items, take it back to the line, and the next person had to carry all items, pick up another item and carry it back, etc., etc. One group needed one more player. (Ok, you can see where I'm going with this) I volunteered.

As I was returning to the line with my arms full of items, some invisible gremlin lassoed my ankles and pulled my feet out from under me. (That's my story and I'm stickin to it) I fell. I fell hard with no way to catch myself since my arms were full. If I had a brain, I would have laid there and pretended to be terribly hurt, salvaging my pride a little, but NO, I immediately pushed the items into the child's arms who came to help me up. And then I got up and ran another round. No harm no foul. "No, I'm fine." "Yeah, I'm ok."

Within 45 minutes, my neck and shoulders began to tighten up and hurt. I continued to sit in worship service as we had "Paid In Full" performing and they are awesome. I toughed it out. As the day went on, the pain got worse, so I wound up taking drugs. It's now Tuesday and I'm feeling pretty bad. Thank goodness for medications that my personal nurse prescribes for idiots like me. It's hard getting old. Not only does the place you hit hurt, but it effects your entire body.

I will probably resist the temptation to volunteer for another running game.....

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Quick Recipe

Just thought I would share this quick and easy recipe that my co-worker shared with me. I found it very tasty and easy to prepare.

Little Quiches

6 eggs
1/2 to 3/4 cup shredded cheese
1/2 can of mushrooms drained (must be canned mushrooms)
1/4 to 1/3 can of rotel tomatoes drained

Thinly sliced ham lunchmeat (Optional)

Beat eggs with fork until well broken up, add remaining ingredients. You can pour this mixture into a well greased or sprayed muffin pan or use the lunchmeat as a sort of 'crust'. You can also use muffin/cupcake foils in the pan. If you use paper muffin/cupcake liners, it will stick to the eggs.

Bake at 350 degrees depending on your oven until the egg is set. (my oven only takes 325 degrees) Don't over cook. You can make them as large or small as you want. You could even use the mini muffin pan.

If you don't like mushrooms, you can leave them out, or substitute broccoli or another vegetable. I tried this today and it didn't take long at all. I was so pleased at how they turned out.

3 Day weekends....Blessing or Curse?

I work four 10 hour days. Actually, I get an hour for lunch, so technically, I only work 9 hours. Some days, I do wind up working 10 hours, especially if it's terribly busy. But I get Fridays off. Sounds great huh? And it is, but..... by the time Friday rolls around, I'm so exhausted, I can't enjoy the day. I'm ok on Monday and Tuesday, but I can feel the fatigue beginning on Wednesday and by Thursday night, I'm absolutely worthless. I normally wind up spending Friday sleeping late, and laying around the house recuperating. I get very little accomplished. This Friday, my sister and I took our mother to a doctor's appointment and then did a little shopping. It was a very good day and we enjoyed each other's company. Eventhough I was home earlier than expected, I was so tired I fell asleep on the couch. It's Saturday and I now must force myself to do some housework, grocery shop and cook since I don't cook much during the week. I am beginning to question the whole Fridays off thing. Is it worth it? I don't know. And when the flu season hits again this fall and winter, will I be able to even function at all by Friday?