Thursday, February 28, 2008

Laughing Out Loud

It's 9:54 in the p.m. and I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. I found a hilarious blog and have been trying to laugh quietly for the last thirty minutes, so as not to disturb SR. I thought I would post a couple of shots that had me rolling silently. If you get a chance, check out I Can Has Cheezburger? The link is in my list.

Monday, February 25, 2008


Today was unusually pleasant. Could it have something to do with my attitude? After a conversation with our office manager last Friday, we decided to tweak our office hours enough to give me some extra work time without the restrictions of answering the phone and checking in/out patients. I now have an extra hour per day to "catch up" on paperwork, medical records, return calls, and trips to the bank and post office. It was so pleasant to be able to go to work and know that I wouldn't have the phone screaming at me the second I open the door. And we didn't add any time to the day, thank goodness. I was really getting tired of having to go in early and work on my day off to keep from being buried in paperwork that always seems to procreate during the dark after hours.

I'm very thankful for a God who answers prayers, and an office manager that values me enough to compromise on issues like this.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Is That All?

I must have the most boring blog on the planet. Now, don't feel like you have to pipe in and say something encouraging. I know the truth. When you reach my age.... and there are no kids at home, and your life consists of going to work, coming home and going to bed, there really isn't much to share. It's almost embarrassing, especially when I read other blogs with such fun and interesting topics. Or blogs of those who are so much more educated than myself, that they sound so intelligent and important.

I was wondering what in the world could possibly be worth spending time reading my blog and decided to delve into the past and share a few memories. Hmmm, let me see...

The first thing that popped into my head was Wayne and Garth....I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!...

Second was my rattlesnake story.
When we lived in the huge metropolis of Rison, our home was deep in the dark woods. Rustic living was quiet, if often lonesome. We had a small, and I mean small front porch that was only two steps off the ground. One summer, I had some potted plants on each side of the steps and one day somehow, I hit one with my foot and knocked it to the ground. At first I thought it would be easy to just reach down and shovel the dirt back into the pot with my hand, and pull it back onto the porch but before I reached out, I changed my mind. (Devine intervention?) I went down the two steps and as I faced the pot, saw a rattlesnake coiled and ready to strike had I reached my hand out. I would not be surprised if SR's ears are still ringing at the pitch and volume of my screams.

Third memory is of J and his father's machete. Yes, a child with a machete. Now before you all get upset over a small child using a large dangerous blade, let me say that he wasn't that small, and he was always very very good with knives and hatchets, etc. He never in his young life ever hurt himself using one, mostly due to the diligence and instruction of his father. (an ATV accident is another story) I don't have any one particular episode to share, just that he was such a woodsman/outdoorsman that every afternoon and every weekend would find him in the scrub by our house, chopping down sapplings and bushes. We could see quite far through the woods due to his hobby. And if he had other kids over to play, they all went in search of menacing brush and small trees for him to battle. He works outside now, and in a sense, still tackles trees and overgrowth that get in the way of his work. I never realized that until this moment.

To be fair, I have to add one about LeLe. By the time she was in the second grade, her hair was down to her waist. That was something I'd always wanted as a child and I was able to enjoy it vicariously through her. That year, her school sold chocolate candy to raise money for something or another the school needed. I never liked asking family and friends for money, but I bought some of the candy myself. When it arrived, it tasted funny, but I thought it was just because of the particular brand of candy it was. Unfortunately, there was actually something wrong with it, and it all had to be recalled. It made the state news and the town was in the spotlight for several days. A camera crew arrived in podunk south Arkansas and filmed at the school. The elementary principal was interviewed and some of the children were shown bringing boxes of candy back to the office. In a split second of film, there was my LeLe walking down the hall, carrying an armful of candy boxes, with her long beautiful red hair swaying back and forth as she marched down the hall. I won't ever forget that picture in my mind.

Friday, February 22, 2008

What a Week!

The flu epidemic is ongoing and we have all been exhausted at work. I've been working so much overtime that I can barely function. And it's not the kind of overtime where you are paid above the normal wage. Since our clinic is only actually open 36 hours a week, it takes a lot of overtime to get to extra pay. I did pass that mark this pay period though. Most folks work a 40 hour week with no trouble. For me, working all those hours and over those hours in four days is really hard on my body. Thankfully, we have plans to help deal with the work load and I'm hopeful it will make a difference.

All this has brought me once again to my knees before my God. Right where I'm supposed to be in the first place. Guess I got too big for my britches and thought I was doing so well. Not. Adversity gives Him a chance to "show His stuff" and I take great comfort in that. There are others close to me that are hurting and I've been in prayer for them as well. I'm often guilty of saying a quick prayer for them, and there is nothing wrong with that from time to time, but I've been in serious prayer for them as well as myself. I really hate that it takes negative things to bring me to a place of submission and reverence. I'm so thankful He forgives me time and time again.

At least it's the weekend and that's always good. I wish I had more fun filled banter to share, but hopefully I will have more positive things to share before long. Spring isn't too far away and I can look forward to flowers and yard work. That always brightens me up.

Monday, February 18, 2008

President's Day

Well Sooz, I'm another one of the few who are lucky enough to get to work on federal holidays. With the flu season working toward its peak, I dreaded the day. I even went in 30 minutes early to get a head start, knowing our nurse was going to be out. It was going to be just myself and the nurse practitioner. Ooops, change of plans, NP was not in either, so I was there by myself all day.

Most of the time, when the NP is out, we are still so busy we can hardly breathe, from constant phone calls. But today, it wasn't bad at all. I actually was able to sweep the entire office and mop it, along with cleaning the two bathrooms. I couldn't believe it. I also was able to paint some labels on the walls for each of the rooms. You know, exam 1, exam 2, etc. We renovated last May and are still trying to get everything in order.

I guess God knew I could only take so much after the week I'd just had. It was the worst one I can remember and it wouldn't have taken much more for me join the ranks of the unemployed. I really appreciated all the prayers that were said on my behalf. By the time I left for work this morning, I was on my way to being ok. It still took me a couple of hours at work to get over it, but I finally did, thanks to the slack day. Thank you Lord!!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

About Me List

I tried to come up with 100 Things about me, but I fell short by 40. If I come up with more, I'll update the list. It took me almost a week to get these typed out. I'd think of things at the oddest times. So, drum roll please......

1. I am a saved by Grace.
2. I have two grown children.
3. I collect chickadee birds.
4. My favorite flowers are calla lilies.
5. I dream of visiting Scotland one day, the land of my ancestors.
6. My favorite colors are green and blue.
7. I have wide feet but narrow heels.
8. I believe "Gentlemen prefer blondes."
9. I’ve been involved in children’s church activities for over 25 years.
10. I have phobias.
11. I'm only 5 ft tall.
12. I love all things Celt. Especially Celtic knotwork.
13. I have very eclectic tastes in music. (rock, contemporary, classical, alternative…)
14. I've been married to the same man for almost 31 years. We've been together for almost 34.
15. I'll be 50 years old this September.
16. After reading an article in a magazine, I have determined my style of d├ęcor is “American Casual.”
17. I fantasize about being able to say "I'm retired"
18. I fantasize about not having to say, "It'll have to wait till next payday."
19. Barry Manilow is the only star I’ve ever seen in concert.
20. I've lived in six different states, all before the age of 12. I lived in four different houses during one school year when I was in the 4th grade.
21. I once read the Exorcist but it required someone being in the room with me at all times.
22. I think Gerard Butler is one of the hottest men on the planet. And Sean Connery ain’t bad for an old guy.
23. I lay awake at night sometimes, thinking about things to post on my blog.
24. I have RLS.
25. I hate the way the skin of my face covers my eyes when I lean forward to dry my hair.
26. I am the first born of five.
27. I admire women with solid white/gray hair, but will not myself go gray quietly.
28. Exercise is the bane of my existence.
29. I abhor the game show, “The Price is Right.”
30. I have a hard time standing up for myself, and wind up physically ill if someone verbally attacks me.
31. I'm very nosy about my children's private lives, but seldom ask them about it.
32. I'm named after my great-grandmother and my great-great-grandmother. (My dad changed the spelling of my gr-gr-grandmother's name for me however, thanks be to Daddy)
33. After almost three years, I still cry about losing my Dad.
34. I love reading blogs.
35. I don't have a best friend, unless you count my husband.
36. I am a painter. I would like to be more gifted than I am, but I have enough talent to please children and sometimes myself.
37. I’d like to go on an Alaskan cruise.
38. My mother is 20 years older than I am. I am 20 years older than my daughter.
39. I named my baby sister, who is 15 years my junior.
40. I like vampire stories that aren't scary.
41. I can honestly say I love my Mother-in-law and enjoy spending time with her.
42. I regret not having attending college, or even trade school.
43. I don’t regret being a stay-at-home mom when my children were small.
44. I am partial to sapphires and diamonds.
45. The older I get the less I like to cook. (I fear I will never be the grandma everyone loves to visit for dinner.)
46. I know where “Danger, Will Robinson!” came from. (Do you?)
47. I know just enough about computers to be dangerous.
48. I am terrified of jury duty.
49. I never forget about my weight.
50. I know how a good turkey caller sounds.
51. I like Miami Ink.
52. Seafood is my favorite and I love Red Lobster.
53. I would like to visit Maine one day.
54. My mother, my husband, and my two children all have red hair, as did my great-grandmother.
55. I would love to live in a log cabin in the mountains by a lake.
56. I know what “The Prime Directive” means.
57. I once lived in the San Diego, California area but couldn’t wait to get back to Arkansas. (regardless of loving the beach)
58. I love reading historical fiction with a little romance tossed in. Especially if its setting is Scotland.
59. I am a mid-morning person.
60. I love Itunes.
61. I was a majorette in high school.
62. I was a junior high cheerleader one year.
63. I was Homecoming queen.
64. I'm a medical secretary at present.
64. I was at one time an assistant librarian.
65. I don't enjoy shopping for clothes or shoes.
66. I do love to shop for antiques.
67. I like Sci-Fi and Fantasy movies.
68. I once lived in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
68. I am a brown-eyed brunette.
69. My favorite movie of all time is "Last of the Mohicans."
70. I spend way too much time on the computer.
71. I maintain the Cleveland County Arkansas website and archives for USGenweb.
72. I love Diana Gabaldon's books.
73. For 9 months, I worked as a secretary to an attorney.
74. Pregnancy was not very comfortable for me, but I did enjoy it while it lasted.

Friday, February 15, 2008

With a Little Help From My Friends

This may sound a bit over dramatic so just bear with me ok?......

I was in a conversation the other day, regarding how the devil attacks you when you are going right along doing what you are supposed to do. I also read about that very thing in a devotional not long ago. It's very easy to offer encouragement to someone it's happening to, but extremely hard to deal with, when you are the one being attacked. We all have experienced it at one time or another so I know you all understand how devastating some small thing can feel when you are in the middle of it. You have trouble realizing it will pass, and you feel as if the world is falling apart and you can't do anything about it. Friends tell you it's not a big deal. Family tell you that you did nothing wrong. The devil's demons continue to whisper in your ear, reminding you how upset you are, how bad it really is, how badly you messed up, what terrible thing could result....on and on until I myself, can barely function. I had an experience yesterday that has caused me a great deal of pain and tears. It's not something I'm at liberty to discuss, but if I was, I know I would get resounding support from all of you. I was attacked with such force, that I am in a overwhelming place of grief and unhappiness. No, no one I love died, I didn't break any laws that I am aware of, but my body and emotions are reacting as if that was the case.

This is the way B handles this type of incident. My heart and body shut down. I grieve heavily and until I can cry it all out, or find some kind of resolution, I will not be able to "shake it off" and "not worry about it" as my coworkers are encouraging me to do. I also agonize over the fact that I am not able to stand up and deal with it. Why can't I just get mad and blow up, then it will be over. Why can't I stand up for myself, a be comfortable facing the issue full on and getting it resolved in my head and heart, regardless of the outcome?

So, with a little help from my friends, I can make it through the day and come out at the end of it without my head full of tears that I'm trying not to shed, and my mind able to think on things other than my predicament. Prayer warriors, today will you ride into battle? I need some peace, I need my body to relax enough that I am not in pain from my head to my shoulder blades. I need my heart to let this go. Will you pray for me?

And this too shall pass..........................

Friday, February 8, 2008

All the Trucks in a Row

This is a shot J took with his camera phone and sent to me. Entergy is on the scene!

Computers, Love'm....Hate'm?

At one time, the computer saved me from losing my mind. Growing up five miles from a very small town, out in the country, doesn't give you much to do. Not saying it was a bad thing, just a bit on the tame, boring, lonely side most of the time. At a previous job, I learned all about the computer and it came to be a great friend of mine. Too much so it would seem at the time. My children lament the fact that during a period of months, (maybe years) I barely paid any attention to them because I was on "that computer" doing research, and making friends. Well, when you live that far away from activities, and your husband works the 3-11 shift, with no weekends off, you find friends any way you can. So, I lived on the computer at work and at home. Caused quite a bit of strife with my family relations. Thank goodness it passed and I was able to put it in perspective and unchain myself.

Now, (to me) the computer is a great tool. I can buy things I need, continue my genealogy research, and correspond with friends, not to mention keep files easily searchable at work, etc. But, it has lost a lot of its attraction. By the time I get home from work, I don't want to even see one. But, I read the blogs of friends and some strangers, and I do visit with a friend now and then. I don't sleep, eat, breathe and live it like I did. With an empty nest, maybe I should stay on it a little more on those days when I'm bored and alone, but it doesn't have the same "zing" it once had. Daily life is packed and tiring and my escape isn't in cyberspace any longer. It's in a nap.....

Experiencing God

LeLe has mentioned the "Experiencing God" Bible study, but my experiencing God has been on a more personal level. Have you ever heard God's voice in your head? I mean, really have an immediate answer to a prayer? I believe the Holy Spirit speaks to you in a different way than God the Father. The Holy Spirit prompts you in the right direction when you are uncertain, He prays for you with utterings that are not understandable, and He convicts you of sin and wrong doing. But God the Father, speaks directly to your mind and heart. Much the same as in the days of Abraham, only we don't hear His voice with our ears. Or I don't anyway.

There are countless times that I pray, and I don't hear a thing. My prayers seem to evaporate as soon as they are said. I am so distracted by day to day trials and stress, that I really struggle to settle and come to a real conversation with God. On occasion, I do have a real one-on-one conversation, but I don't really know how it happens. It just does. Yesterday was just such an occasion and it never stops surprising me. I was praying for something I had prayed about several times, with no answer and no direction. But yesterday morning, the second, no the milli-second the prayer was said, I heard His voice. "B, do your job, mind your own business and I will take care of it." WHOA! Ok Lord, you got it. So now, do I tell anyone what just happened? Or is that bragging? "Tell it. It is your witness." So I shared it with my co-workers, who were comforted by it. And I supposed that is the most important thing, is it not?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Long Lost......

I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. Problem is, there really wasn't anything newsworthy to report. Work was the same, life was the same, and I would read other blogs and think "I don't anything that deep and important to impart." I planned to go clean J's apartment, but had a really exhausting week and could barely function over the weekend. And since the windstorm, he has been working non-stop anyway, so I didn't go.

I did get a bit of good news from my friend Y. Her daughter, E, who has a tumor in her abdomen, got a wonderful report from her last scan. Her tumor has shrunk 80%. Now they can think about surgery. Please remember her in your prayers. We've been praying for healing and that she can have a baby in the near future, since she had to terminate her pregnancy due to the cancer.

Other than that, nothing to share. Same ole, same ole.