Friday, September 14, 2007

Conflicting Emotions

I often refer to earlier posts, and again I will be doing that. I wrote about resigning from teaching Sunday School and that I felt God was calling me in a different direction. Today I got a new "feel" for one of the things He has for me. I agreed right before our church's Mission Celebration, to help with Operation Christmas Child. It had been on my heart for a few weeks and when the opportunity presented itself, I offered my services to the lady in our church who heads it up. She was delighted and has been in touch with me about it a few times.

She called me to meet with her today. My Friday off. MY DAY OFF. Of course, I told her when I volunteered, that I was off on Fridays and would be free to help her. Don't offer if you aren't willing to follow through right? My first inclination was to make excuses. I did have a regular doctor's appointment in Benton this morning, but I agreed to meet her when I came back into town. I had a selfish feeling and really started to regret offering my help. (I REALLY hate to admit this y'all) When I got home, I dutifully called her and we met at the church. The more we talked, the more excited I became. Ideas began flitting through my mind and my heart and before I knew it, JOY filled my heart.

I am so guilty of saying no, simply because I'm selfish and lazy and want my own way. I guess it goes back to the other post about making an idol of my free time. But, God is His mercy, wisdom, and love, takes my reluctant agreement and turns it into blessing. Now, I really hope and pray that He does the same for me on the 23rd, when it's MY turn to lead Children's Church.....

And oh yeah, if you are interested in what Operation Christmas Child is, or want more information, please contact me. It's a wonderful ministry and it's very simple for someone to participate with no strings attached.


Les said...

I love it when God does that kind of stuff! We are all selfish about our time; I know I am. I think it's because we all have so little of it. We don't live in a society where the woman gets to stay at home and put her attention towards her family, home, God, etc. Instead, we're thrust in the workforce just so we can help our husbands pay the bills. (Okay, I got way off topic- sorry!)

Anyway, I just want you to know that you're not the only one who doesn't want to give up your spare time.

Alice said...

This kind of thing has SO happened to me many times. We are all selfish when we compare ourselves to Jesus but He can use us in our selfishness too.

I am glad your heart is now filled with joy on this project. Life is much better without the guilt of feeling selfish.

Sooz said...

I am with you...I have such a hard time giving up what I think is "my time". I dedicated my year to helping teach the Kindergarten Sun. school class at church and I hate that I have to force myself to go. But I will admit that this has always been the case for me with Sun. school or Bible studies. I'm more geared to teach than to learn...not sure that's such a good gift.