Friday, November 9, 2007
To Sleep Perchance to Dream Part Deux...
Amazingly, I was able to sleep well enough last night that I had a very vivid dream about my father. I often dream about him and in my dreams, he is always sick, but looks healthy and feels good. (That's the great thing about dreams.) He had come home from the hospital, and was sitting up in my parents' den, in a hospital bed. His shirt was off, and he had his perpetual farmer's tan. Isn't it hilarious that he even had it in the dream? I was able to rub his arm as he smiled at me with his beautiful smile. He not only looked healthy, but I was amazed that he looked so young and vibrant. I asked him how he felt, and he told me he had joy as the dream ended. Most of my dreams of him are like that. It makes me sure that he is in heaven having a wonderful time.
God often spoke to His faithful through dreams. I believe in my heart, that He sends these dreams to me. The first dream I had of Daddy after his passing, he came to comfort me. He told me so in the dream when I asked him why he was here. Then he told me he was very happy and that he would come back to visit from time to time.
I also had a very vivid dream one night of God. It was during a very heartwrenching time in the life of my son. When he was small, he dearly loved a child in his class. This child would alternate between being his best friend, and being his worst nightmare. But J loved him so much, that he always forgave him, and kept right on loving him. To see J's heart broken time and time again was destroying me, and I cried out to God in prayer. One night He came to me in a dream. I was kneeling as He sat on His throne. Of course, I could not look upon Him, but I could feel His light and His awesome power. He spoke, and asked me, "What would you ask of me?" And I told Him, "I want to be remembered as a kind person." He answered, "Very well. But you may well regret it." And then He reached out His hand, and I knew it was ok to touch Him. No words can describe the joy I felt at touching His hand. And then the dream ended. I'm sure it was a lesson to me, that God continues to love us, even when we hurt Him. Just like J continued to love. And that being kind, as J continued to be to the other child, is one of the things God wants from us. It often brings us heartache, but it's the right thing.
You may think this was just something my brain manufactured out of the stress of the time. Some scientist might explain it away with big words about brain function or some such rot. But you can never make me believe God did not visit me in my dream. And I will always have my proof that God does exist.
I haven't felt well today, and I decided to rest most of the day. The dream last night and past dreams kept coming to my mind as I laid around and tried to gather a little strength, so I thought I would share them.