Monday, June 30

Mom has been restless the last two days. She can't get comfortable and her back is still hurting. The pain meds are keeping it from getting too severe, but I fear we will have to call the doctor tomorrow. The fluid in her lungs is causing her to cough a lot when she lays in the bed at night. She is up and down all night long. I don't think she has fully accepted all that is going on, or at least hasn't been able to process it. She tries to reason out why she feels like she does, and the cancer doesn't enter in to it as far as she is concerned. She may be in denial subconsciously, or she may just not understand. I've overheard her giving friends and family misinformation. Not that she is purposely lying, it's what she believes to be the truth. When we correct her, it seems as though she doesn't hear us. Maybe most or all cancer patients do this. In the beginning, we weren't with Daddy 24/7 like we have been her. She was with him most of that time until it got bad. I don't know if he behaved this way or not.

While at Mom's, I did a little cleaning out of her fridge and put some fruit and purple hull peas in the freezer for her. I cooked some for lunch today with some cornbread and potatoes and she seemed to enjoy that, but when I offered to heat them up for supper, she didn't think it was such a good idea. She says nothing tastes good. She is already small and I fear she will wind up looking anorexic before it's over. I guess all cancer patients do though.

Trying to take care of her and work is taking its toll on both myself and Sister #2. Trying not to get frustrated and stressed is extremely difficult. We have a long road ahead of us. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.