After two trips in as many months to the hospital, my mother was released and told by the oncologist that the cancer was contained and that she probably had a bacterial infection. Unfortunately, we learned today that is not the case. The PET scan found cancer in the lining of her mid transverse colon, and spots around her liver. We have an appointment to see the oncologist on Monday to find out treatment options and more about what is happening.
This comes on the heels of her last chemo treatments, so the chemo med did not prevent the cancer from spreading. What a dissapointment to all of us. And a surprise to my mother who is perpetually optimistic about it all. This is the third instance of cancer, and I keep thinking the third time killed my father. It's hard to get past that.
I keep trying to stay calm, not borrow trouble or fret about it. And God, in His loving mercy gave me some scripture last night to help. Then, on the way to my Mother's house this morning he gave me the song, "Praise You In The Storm"... Isn't my God something?! I've decided that I canNOT dwell on what ifs, or what will we do if, or how will we do this or that. I can't worry about how taking care of her will effect my keeping the baby or helping plan my son's wedding. It will all take care of itself, God will work it all out, and you know.....it's. Not. About. Me.
I can't lie, this is hard. It's harder than the last two times. And it's going to be hard. But, my God is a mighty and awesome God. He can heal her if He so chooses. If He doesn't, He can get us all through it. And I've prayed that He will take away any heartsickening decision we have to make. That way, all the what ifs and how are we to dos will be taken care of. By Him. Period.