Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ok, Bear With Me....

Warning!!!! This will be a whining post.

We've already established that I have social anxiety. It's something I'm working on and I have a couple of things in the works to help with that. It doesn't help that I seem to be invisible whenever I am in a crowd. Why is that?

And we've already established that I have no close friends. I've tried reaching out, but no one really reaches back. Partly my fault I think, partly not. Is it because I am not in a local "clique"? Is it because once or twice I stupidly turned down an invitation?

Why is it that when I think I'm developing a relationship with someone, or renewing one, I find that I'm getting only a smidgen of interest, and that someone else I know is getting a huge amount? Is there something wrong with me? Am I just not interesting enough? Is it because I didn't become a doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher....? What is my problem? This complaint is on the heals of finding out that someone I knew years ago, suggested we get together this summer, while they were back in Arkansas visiting. I found out today, they did come for a visit last month, but instead of letting me know, so we could get together, they contacted someone else I know instead. What am I doing wrong???

I also noted that on facebook, several people I knew in school continue to visit online and seem to have a lot of fun, according to their posts. But, I have to pull responses or comments out with a pair of pliers.

So, today is feel sorry for myself day. You are welcome to participate, but you probably just aren't that into me....

1 comment:

Sooz said...

No comment because I FEEL THE SAME WAY! And I'm still thinking about some other stuff we've discussed. I have a whole blog post I need to write just to get things off my chest.