Friday, November 13, 2009
Before I go any further, let me state firmly that what I am about to post, is NOT a ploy for kudos, pats on the back, or atta girls. So, please don't make it about that....
Today is the Friday of the month that I help get food ready for our church pantry. There is a serious need with the economy like it is. This morning, I went as usual, but was only able to stay for a short while, because J was coming into town and I didn't want to miss getting to see him. He was running through on his way to the deer camp. (Deer season starts tomorrow in case you didn't know that) If I didn't stop and come home, he would have gone on, and I never know when I'll get to grab a hug, so I left. I felt guilty, but I wanted to see my boy.
After he left, I ran errands, and went to the gym to work out. For the first time ever, there was only me in there. All the men must be on their way to the deer camp too... Anyway, when I got home, I had a message on my voicemail about OCC boxes needing to be wrapped. So, I ran down to the church to grab about 20 of them. I feel better now, knowing I was able to deflect my guilt by helping out with this. So, I find myself tired from all the running around, but sitting at the kitchen table wrapping box after box for some poor child who has nothing.
The reason I tell you this, is because it reminds me of what it really means to "die to self" as we are supposed to do. I recently came to realize what that really was, after years of reading it, being preached to about it, but never really understanding. It means you do something you are too tired to do. You do something you don't really want to do. You do it when you would rather be doing what you want to do. That is picking up your cross. I would much rather be sitting on the couch resting with a good book. Or sewing. But these children have NOTHING. How much trouble is it really to me, to wrap boxes?
I don't know why I felt that I had to post this. Maybe God was prompting me, but I had to stop wrapping and type this out. I just had a need. So, today while the weather is beautiful, and I am free to do whatever I want, and have whatever I need, I am sitting at the kitchen table wrapping shoe boxes. Wrapping.....wrapping.....for a child who will be overjoyed to receive a shoebox filled with God's love.