Thursday, September 15, 2011

Change

The seasons are beginning to change. I can feel the cool breeze through my window as I type. I love the newness of the seasons. Every one has its own wonderful attribute. I admit, I get tired and wish for it to change again before its ready. Human nature I suppose.

When I got older, and was able to quit work, I had so many plans for "MY" time. That was a big change in my life, and I wanted to do all the things I'd always wished. For a while, I was so tired and ill, that I didn't do much of anything but lay on the couch and read. Oh, I did a bit of housework and cooking, but for the most part, I just rested. It was nice to a point.

That changed after I began to feel better, and I realized I had the time to do all the sewing and crafting I'd always wanted to do, but couldn't while working. I jumped in with all four feet and immersed myself in fabric and thread, hot glue and paint.

That changed a bit when LMW came along. There's no sewing or painting while he's here, and that's ok. He's more important than any sewing or painting project. I still managed to be pretty content with it all.

But I changed. I became consumed with the sewing, and with blogging and facebook....So much so, until even though I love the boy, and want to be with him every day, I started feeling a bit fretful. My ME time was going away and all the projects I wanted to do were taking way too long.

He wasn't the only reason I became fretful. I knew God wanted me to stop and take time with Him. A new online Bible study, new blog friends that I care about and want to talk to daily. That cuts into sewing time too.

The last couple of weeks I've been very frustrated with it all. I can't find the time to accomplish much of anything. I have so many little things waiting for me, the house is dirty, I'm not exercising, I am rushing through my Bible reading and prayer time....well... the prayer time has really taken a hit, in all honesty. I'm not good with fifteen or twenty minutes of ME time. I need at least an hour or I don't feel that I've accomplished enough and I get aggravated. The list thing didn't help either. Bah Humbug. Something must change!!!

Today, I will stop and be still. I will talk to my Lord and ask Him to help me reorganize my life. I will ask him what I need to let go of, what projects to keep with and what to forget about. I will not plan another project until I finish two or three that are in the works. And that may not be until after Christmas. And I will pray very hard for the mindset of doing this, and the emotional strength to stick with it. I'm a little disappointed that my way didn't work out. God's way Will. Always. Work. He's going to help me change. (If I will just give over and let Him.)
Maybe, just maybe I can get things together, stop fussing and fretting, and accomplish more than I ever thought about. But first I have to change.

3 comments:

Vroomans' Quilts said...

You have to find your own way, but take comfort in that you are not alone with this same dilemma.

Under Her Wings said...

Wonderful post, Belinda. I have found that the tyrrany of the urgent often overwhelms us, leaving us unable to do the important. God will direct you as you seek His face. I'm praying for you.

Hillbilly Tonya said...

As Sharon says, you are not alone. I have been feeling so much better by letting the blog thing take the back seat. I am on this morning as I allow Seth to sleep in. And twice this week I was able to have MORNING quiet time as Stephen slept in a bit. But, night time works better for my family life. If I take a peek at blogs then I find that I am distracted from my God time. So I have to do that first. On the prayer thing, my ACTS chart helps my focus alot! I have to have that or my mind just wonders everywhere.
I pray that you find the way to prioritize how you need to.