Saturday, March 14, 2009


I meandered through some old posts. Sometimes you go back and think....what was I thinking to write that drivel?! Other times you think... man! Things sure have changed since I wrote that! I read my post of September 24, 2008. Have things changed since that post! Gee Whiz. I got my wish. I'm not working. It's as wonderful as I thought it would be, and it's as uncertain as I never thought it could be.

I try to be constructive each day. I try not to be a slug and sleep the morning away. I try to create something each day, and be productive. I have my quiet time when I read my Bible and talk with the Lord. I cook really good meals for a change. I haven't done that in longer than I can remember, and our waistlines bear witness to that. We have created a financial budget we are sticking to, and there is very little stress. I have sort of a pattern for the day and I enjoy my days. I don't dread them any longer. That's a terrible feeling, to wake each morning with a sense of dread and depression. Thank the Good Lord that's over. I absolutely love not having to get up at a certain time every morning and be somewhere. Hopefully, even if God brings another job to me, it won't be that way.

I have ideas I want to try, but there is no sense of urgency. I used to think about all the things I wanted to do if I had the time. Now I have it, and I am not driven to accomplish them. And that is fine. But......

Sometimes I fear that I will wind up losing myself. Occasionally, I need to interact with others. Occasionally, I need to get out into the world and see and talk and hear what is outside the walls of my home. I'm not sure how to do that aside from participating in church activities. I'm looking forward to warmer weather so I can get active. I do walk most days, but it doesn't give me the pleasure that working in the yard does. I'm sooo ready for Spring temperatures. That's what's great about seasons. Just about the time you think you can't stand another cold day, Spring warms you up. Or the heat is melting you and a cool Autumn breeze blows in. It makes you appreciate the blessings of the seasons.

Things have definitely changed since that post. For the most part, it's a good change.

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