What Not Wednesday

Here is another installment of what I am not. I don't know how many of these I can come up with, but posting only five at a time helps keep it going. Some are good things and some are not so good, but just the truth as I see myself.

I AM NOT...

1. Aggressive.
I back down in a heartbeat. Any time I've ever come up with an idea of something I wanted to do, that might take a bit of effort, any little negative comment makes me back off. Whenever I've been verbally attacked, I just clam up. I've never thought fast on my feet and can never come up with a defense in that kind of situation. On the positive side of that, it helps me get along with most folks. Someone called me passive aggressive once. Does that count?

2. Mathematically Minded.
Oh, I can add, subtract, multiply and divide, but I'm so very thankful for calculators. I can make change, but am always terrified I'll make a mistake. Numbers just never did compute in my brain. I barely passed Algebra in high school, and even the instructor advised me not to take Geometry. Dealing with money has been a big part of some of the jobs I've had in the past. I always despised that part of it and even decided not to go back to a job that I really kinda liked, mainly because of the big money thing.

3. Inspiring.
I am a good person, and I don't feel like a lesser human being, but I have never really done anything that would inspire someone else. I've not accomplished much in my life that someone else would want to emulate. The only thing I can really claim was worth much, is raising my two wonderful kids. They turned out so great and I did have a little to do with that. It was hard with their Dad working the evening shift all their growing up years. I had to be Mom and Dad a lot of the time, but at least we knew Dad would be there when we needed him.

4. Disciplined.
I have so many ideas in my head that I could do. And I've had so many goals I thought I wanted to meet. Unfortunately, I've never been disciplined or devoted enough to do what it takes to accomplish them. It's like it's just too much trouble, even though I know it would be worth it. Maybe that goes with last weeks number 5, energetic what not.

5. Selfless.
I'm all about me. The purpose of life is to serve God and put him first. I struggle with that daily, hourly, minute by minute. Selfish is my middle name. At least I can admit it. And I ask forgiveness every single day for it.